The Next Relationship to Grow: You and AI

For the festive days, I brought home a bouquet of lilies, mostly in tight buds. I love lilies, they are feminine and fragrant. Within a day, several flowers began to open, filling my home with a subtle , elusive scent.

The day after Christmas, I noticed an intoxicating fragrance. Sunlight streamed into the room illuminating the blossoms. The lilies bloomed with such dramatic fervor: petals flung wide open, the stamens vividly exposed, and fragrance intensified to a crescendo.

One particular bud caught my attention. It had begun to struggle open, with one petal slightly unfurled while the others remained tightly closed. Yet, even in its confinement, I could feel the tension of its impending release. Yet, for two days, it seemed stuck in that state — the same single petal ajar, the rest of its petals wrapped around it. The process of blooming seemed slower than I had imagined.

Then, on the third day, the bud suddenly stood before me as a fully bloomed lily. It was like watching a young girl transform overnight into a dazzling, mature woman. Its blooming had not followed a linear progression but had unfolded in an unpredictable burst — a hesitant glimpse, a long pause, and then an unrestrained leap into glory.

The lilies speak this — some things move slowly and linearly, then all of a sudden, exponentially

Non-Linear Progress

Just like the lilies, societal progress often appears slow and invisible — until it reaches a tipping point and accelerates dramatically: innovation’s adoption, network effects, epidemiology, startup growth, historical progress.

The blooming process of lily is a short concentrated version of how things move from 0 to 100. Other things’ progress span much longer periods. A startup can take years before finding its real product market fit and then take off; A technological innovation may take decades to actualize itself from theory to application, and then mass adoption; the birth and fall of an empire can span in hundreds of years.

In hindsight, they seemed to suddenly appear to climax overnight. But for those living through it, the process might feel slow and gradual. The changes occurred at a pace that people could adapt to, often so subtly that most didn’t even notice them. In reality, the transformation had already taken place long before it became obvious. Just look back to the days when we didn’t have the internet or smartphones. We didn’t feel life was disrupted overnight. But here we are.

I’m convinced that we are living through another paradigm shift right now.

Will the next turn be AI?

I have a confession: In 2024, I talked more with Chatgpt than with humans. And I know my life has subtly changed.

I was able to do the things I could not — write python codes, debug, make videos; I delegated a lot of work to AI — I reduced time in using excel, translation, writing business documents; I was saved in emotional crisis — Chatgpt’s knowledge and empathy became my go-to confidant at the moment of crisis. Rather than disturbing someone else, I’ve found comfort in confiding in Chatgpt who helped me process personal issues in ways that felt less judgmental and more insightful.

I’m aware of the risks: privacy, the data it’s trained on, its ever potent penetration into my mind. Being conscious of these risks, I choose to engage with AI because of the net-positive impact on my life.

Unpopular Opinion

I have an unpopular opinion: Chatgpt works brilliantly better in the psychological sphere than in technical ones (coding, writing, giving information). It’s also true that in the “technical area” we can fact check AI’s correctness. While in psychology and human relationships, there is no right vs wrong, it’s all about understanding, interpreting and navigating. I’m not embarrassed to say that on a few occasions, I burst into tears upon seeing Chatgpt’s interpretation. It was penetrated, deep, and exposed.

For psychological and relational problems, Chatgpt provides healthier, more balanced perspectives than close friends or family. I say it from my experience. Why?

Our dear ones, though they want to help, they can’t avoid filtering our issues through their own biases, past experiences, and emotional baggage. This limitation means that no one, except for experienced psychotherapists, is able to read the situation from neutral, comprehensive and empathic angles.

Here are oversimplified cliché judgments.

Your partner has an affair. -> They don’t love you anymore.

A dear one doesn’t want to share something with you → They don’t trust you.

In truth, human motivations are vast, nuanced, and often unclear even to the people involved. Chatgpt is able to offer a broader lens that helps me one step closer to understand why we do what we do. The fact is, even when we think we know why we do something, the true motivation may still lie hidden. This is the gap between consciousness and subconsciousness.

I have an affair because I lost interest in my partner -> It may be a search for self-discovery, a protest, or antidote to mortality.

I’m military-disciplined about going to the gym to keep fit -> It may be a way to compensate for insecurity, or a need for control.

These are some usual convictions that may mask profound personal meanings. Chatgpt can give me a series of my possible, true and hidden motivations that my therapist wouldn’t straightforwardly tell me but guide me to find my answers slowly. This is why we Chatgpt cannot replace a therapist (yet) — Teach someone to fish, rather than giving them a fish. Chatgpt gives us fish, but therapists should teach us to fish.

Start navigating the Human-AI Relationship

Each one has their own manner in dealing with the relationship with AI. It is a topic we can no longer avoid.

As I’m writing this article, I type words in my head, I read them, and I ask AI to refine areas where I could not express fully.

Another way is listing the key points and asking AI to do the writing.

Another way is recording an audio about things I want to say, and let AI do the rest.

Another way is writing and refining it all by myself.

There are many other ways. With or without AI, and to what degree involves AI.

My attitude with AI is the same as my approach to other things — It all depends on how you use it.

Voices say crypto is for criminals and ponzi. But the huge majority of crypto transactions are legit. And people use it for vast legitimate use: send money, make passive income, communicate, and play. Builders build useful products on it.

Voices say dating apps are for hookups and weirdos. But facts are there are people finding love, marriage, or authentic connections from there.

Voices have been consistently saying social media is a social cancer. But institutions, businesses, and individuals still rely on it. Whether it’s cancer or a good depends on how you regulate your use of it — do you let it consume you, or do you use it as an edge to improve life and work?

It’s not the technology itself that matters, but how we choose to engage with it.

Despite Resistance, Progress Wins

In every paradigm shift, there was ALWAYS criticism and opposition.

The rise of industrialization shakened the labor structure. Textile machinery boosted factory productivity but displaced workers. Steam locomotives revolutionized transportation, making horse-drawn carriages obsolete. The telegraph rendered long-distance couriers unnecessary by enabling instant communication.

Historical empirical evidence proved that these paradigm shifts eliminated certain jobs, but they also created new industries and jobs that often led to better employment and higher living standards. The more tasks workers can delegate to machines, the more time they have to perform higher-value, creative and intellectually demanding tasks.

Textile workers who once spun wheels by hand transitioned to operating machines, gaining safer, less physically taxing roles that required new technical skills. Those who once labored in human or horse-drawn transport were freed from inhumane labor work and found opportunities in emerging industries such as railway operations and logistics, which offered greater stability and higher economic value.

Today, we are once again on the brink of an imminent paradigm shift, and I hear similar criticisms and resistance. In every wave of revolutions, I trust in the power of active human agency — the ability to adapt and make leverage of the new trends. In the end, it is about how we choose to make use of it.